1. Talk to Small, Sadder Simon (REPEATEDLY)
Just to the north of the trail, you see a small person looking so sad that it pulls at your heart strings. You can't help yourself, you feel that you just have to go over and see if you can help. Or at least, cheer them up.
I'm sorry to hear that. Never mind. look on the bright side, you can gather some more.
Don't be sad. Look, I'll even help you gather some more if you want.
Yes, I know, but it's not the end of the world. We can gather more you know!
Look Simon, you're starting to make me sad as well now and you don't want to do that. Do you?
In fact, I am getting totally depressed here!
Well it's not "bleeping" helping me. That's for sure!
Thank God for that, because I am getting more depressed by the minute!
NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!! Please don't start again! Your making great progress, don't get sad again! (whimper....mercy....whimper)
I must be, I've not killed you yet! (Oh God..... the temptation!)
Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! KILL ME! Please ...... somebody .......anybody!
If I had a gun I'd shoot myself!
I haven't even got a rope I can hang myself with! I'll never quest without one again.
Oh God, what great sins have I commited that I deserve this?
YES! YES! You should do that right away!
There has got to be a rock around here that I can bash my brains out with. Please let there be one. PLEASE!
Oh God! No, please don't make me do that! Please, I'm begging you!
Oh thank you God, thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise to dedicate my life to good works and pray to you every day, just please, please, please don't let him lose that pouch again! (whimper)
This is a very easy quest to complete, providing you don't get terminally depressed while doing it. The conversation pictures that I have included are only a very small sample of what to expect, beacause you have to talk to Simon FIFTY-THREE times in all.
I don't know who devised this quest, but they are obviously one of the most evil, sadistic ............... Yes well (ahem), not a very nice person.